Hmmm

Well I suppose at some point I should make an update post. Yeah I'll do that later. I mean, this is a procrastinator's blog right? At least I'm consistent. It would have probably been funny to do this blog and then have one post saying that I would do a proper post... later.

Anyway, I just wanted to say something. That something was that there is a very short period of time, sometimes it's only seconds. This period of time is when I am tired and I actually want to lay down and go to sleep. If I do not do exactly that within that period of time then I stay up for hours. That period of time tonight was about 5 hours ago and it lasted about 45 seconds. I missed it. It is now after 3:30 in the morning. Which it natural for me, but I'm tired and I know I should have went to bed hours ago. I end up just feeling miserable and not to mention that I end up having to eat an extra meal (as I type I'm also eating a bowl of rice noodles).

I guess I'm too used to school hours. Yes a I would do all nighters, especially last week which was finals week. However, during a normal week I would actually go to bed at a decent hour. A decent hour of course being 1 or 2 at the latest.

I really wish this was a normal winter break where I didnt have to worry about school work till I went back : (

Stupid thesis with the not being good enough.

Priorities

I did something last night that I find a little strange now that I think about it. Yesterday was not a good day for me for reasons that I do not want to get into or anytime for that matter. I was sitting in the Student Union building last night after spending quite some time in the library. The only things I got done in the library were homework for one class and feeling more alone than ever. What I was not able to do for hours was to decide what to eat. I don't know why I am having more trouble decide what to eat. It really shouldn't take me hours. Anyways I debated taking the shuttle back to where I live and eating at the diner near there or just staying on campus and getting a little personal pizza and drink at the Student Union. The deciding factor was naturally the internet. The diner for some odd reason doesn't have wifi. I find this odd as many students eat there and they should know how important the internet is to students. I decided on the internet, so the pizza and drink it was.

So I got my pizza and drink and headed to this table in the corner behind a pillar (my favorite spot of course). I opened up the box the pizza was in to let it breath a little.... okay to let it cool. I don't know why I just found the concept of a pizza breathing funny. Anyways, I got my computer out and started up and reached into my pocket for my earphones at the same time realizing that they weren't going to be there. I knew right away I had left them in the computer I was using downstairs in the library in a study room. I searched the contents in my bookbag quickly even though I knew the truth.

Here was were my thinking is funny. I could easily enough pack my stuff up, put my jacket back on, grab my drink and pizza, and go back to the library and get my earphones. I could even then just settle down in the seating area that is right across from the library and is less crowded. I didn't choose this option. I chose the other option. I chose to leave my computer, jacket, food, and bookbag with things like my new kindle fire in it unattended in the corner behind the pillar in the student union to half jog, half walk while heavily breathing back to the library, down the stairs, to the study room, to grab my beloved earphones. I didn't even bother hurrying back. I walked calmly wondering if my stuff would still be there. It took at least five minutes. More than enough time to walk out with my stuff.

It's a small school, but I know peoples stuff has been stolen. I have read of enough stories in the school paper to know that people should lock their room doors to protect their laptops. I chose to forgo protecting my many possessions for one: my earphones. Makes me wonder about my priorities a little bit. I am probably only writing this so I don't write about something else... so I don't think about other things. I just need a better day than yesterday.

"I don't wanna run anymore."

My friend and I are friends with a professor and his family. We volunteer with them and have watched their son on occasion. Great family and the nicest people I've probably ever met. That being said the professor always says hi and tries to get a handle on how we are doing. I just saw him. He asked me how I was doing. I lied and said okay. I asked him how he was doing... he said okay though I knew he was kind of lying too. Funny how that goes.

Then he told me: At his son's basketball game there was this kid who just started slowing down and got really pale. He just didn't look good. He stopped and said that he didn't want to run anymore. He laid down and later went into a coma. He died over the weekend. As soon as he said "there was this kid," I knew how the story was going to end. I don't know why, but I did. I was hoping I was just being ridiculous. It must have been in his voice.

I said that was terrible. I didn't know what else to say. I was thrown for a loop. I asked about his son. He said that he naturally had questions. I said of course. We both had to go to class. I said I had to go take a test now. He said sorry. I said don't worry about it.

"I don't wanna run anymore." What am I supposed to do with this?

what you do for friends

I'm not religious at all. I don't mind learning about it which is good because I go to a liberal arts college that requires you take two religion classes. Think it's a little bit of a waste of time, but in the end it's all good. I don't believe in any certain deity or religion in particular. I'm very open in the way that life was created and works. It just is to me. I'm not a person that needs it explained to me. I just live it. I would just rather not have someone preaching to me about how I am supposed to live my life is all.

Having said that my friend was raised in a religious manner I guess you could say. She had to go to church every week and eventually this caught up with her and she questions everything about it. I believe she still is religious, but needs to find her own way back to it and not have someone dragging her along to a church she doesn't share the views of. She is a psychology major though she tends to lean more towards sociology these days. For her second religion class she chose to take Sociology of Religion. She seems to enjoy it mostly and one of her assignments is to attend two different church services, have people fill out some sort of survey, and then interview the pastor.

Now comes the part where sometimes you do things you would not do normally and honestly things you would rather not do. I am going to church in the morning. Yep. I am. We are both good friends with a professor from the college and his wife. They are like a second family to us, so my friend felt comfortable enough to ask them she could go with them this Sunday. And of course I get included in this as I am part of our little group and I know me being there will defintely make her more comfortable.

I really don't mind in the end, because I know my friend will be more at ease. I just keep thinking about the three tests on Monday and how I will get more out of studying for that than I will attending church in the morning.

I just chalk it up to a cultural experience a.k.a. people-watching. But seriously.... wth do i wear?

I R Serious

Hardy har har.



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Can you tell I was still sick?

I'm in the act of procrastination posting this...



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So, um.... like, you know?

Decided I'm so horrible at keeping up the written blog posts that I would try to verbally do one.



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